Hilarious Heresy

Here's a story my second grade English language learners wrote. The assignment was to write a new version of the Cinderella story. I helped them with the grammar and mechanics, but I swear I didn't feed them ideas. They're very clever kids.


Once upon a time there was a man named Jack Black. He lived in Los Angles, California, with his stepmom and step sisters. His stepmom and step sisters were mean. When they moved into his house, they told Jack to move to the basement so that they could have his room. They were so mean that they left their dishes on the table and Jack Black cleaned them. They took their shoes and threw them at him. They had horses, and Jack asked if he could ride them. His stepsisters said, “No.”
Ashley was a pretty movie star. It was her birthday. She was having a party. At her party, Ashley was going to look for someone to marry. She invited everyone to her castle-like house. Jack’s step sisters would not let him go to Ashley’s party. His step mother said he couldn’t go because he had dirty clothes. Jack was sad.
When Jack’s family leaves, Baby Jesus poofed to Jack’s house. “AHHHH!” Jack screamed. He was scared. “I am Jesus. I am here to grant your wish.” “What?” asked Jack. “Don’t you want something?” asked Jesus. “I want some clothes to go to the party.”
Baby Jesus said, “Boo-pa-boo-pa.” Suddenly, Jack was wearing a black suit and a gold tie. “Now I want a limo with a TV,” said Jack Black. Baby Jesus said, “Boo-pa-boo-pa.” A long black limo with gold rims appeared. Baby Jesus said, “If you don’t come home before midnight, everything will disappear.”
Jack Black went to the party in his limo. When he drove up, an old man walked in front of his car. Jack turned so that he would not hit the man. He crashed through the wall. Everyone stopped dancing and looked. When Jack Black got out of the car, Ashley saw him. She said, “He is the one I am looking for.” She told her mother, “I am in love.”
Ashley and Jack Black danced. Then they kissed. Jack saw that it was 11:59. He ran away because his clothes would disappear. Ashley chased him. He got in his limo and drove as fast as he could. Ashley could not keep up. Suddenly, the car disappeared and Jack went flying through the air.
Ashley went home and cried to her mom. She said, “That is the only boy I have ever liked.” She was so tired and sad that she went to bed. “I will look for him tomorrow and if I don’t find him I will keep looking,” she said.
Jack was hurt and was taken to the hospital. He had a broken leg. He had to walk with crutches.
The next day, Ashley woke up early. She left her house to look for Jack. A boy on a bike threw a paper to Ashley’s house as she walked outside. The paper hit her. She fell down and hit her head on the ground. She was so mad, but then she saw the front of the paper. There was a picture of Jack. The paper told about his crash. It said he was at the hospital.
“I am going to go to the hospital to visit him,” she said to her mother. When she got there she asked Jack if he wanted to get married. “Yes!” he said. They got married. They moved to Mexico to get away from Jack’s stepsisters and stepmom. They had one boy and one girl. They lived happily ever after.